Silently from behind a bouquet, a pair of eyes meet our eyes. It is one of eight self-portraits of a woman in an almost empty attic. They are a visual diary of her long uncertain search for asylum and a new place that can become a home. In this story, read how these photographs reflect that inner journey of Hélène Amouzou.
Author: Valeria Posada Villada
Light streams into the attic from a side window, capturing the patterns of a worn wallpaper and a bouquet of flowers silently resting on a table. In its journey, light has been able to fix the setting in great detail, yet somehow cannot seem to record the figure of a woman quietly staring behind the blossoms. Her image is portrayed as a silhouette, a ghostly blur whose eyes peer past the background and meet ours. This woman is Hélène Amouzou.
Amouzou (Togo, 1969) developed this body of work during 2007 and 2011. She regards these self-portraits a visual journal of the solitude, sorrow and fatigue she experienced throughout her two-decade search for asylum. All of these photos were taken in the attic of her house in Sint-Jans Molenbeek, in the Brussels region (Belgium), were she sought refuge. Seen as a whole, these photographs provide a poignant reflection on the way thousands of people endure the loss of their homes and personhood once forced to relocate.
Wereldmuseum acquired eight silver-gelatin prints of this series in 2015, captured and hand-printed by her at different times during these five years. This is the story behind them.
Amouzou encountered the camera, most specifically the video camera through a woman she met in church. It was already her 7th year in Belgium since she fled Togo with her daughter back in the autumn of 1997. Amouzou immediately felt at ease with the camera, since it evoked a sense of familiarity in her.
Amouzou started to record and edit videos using lent equipment during her spare time. After some time the Molenbeek Academy of Drawing and Visual Arts, gave her the chance she long yearned for and introduced her to a space which would mark a difference in her life until then: the darkroom.
One of the first lessons Amouzou received focused on self-portraiture. At the beginning this task was excessively confronting. At times unsurmountable. The fact of portraying herself, of being the main character in her work, was hard to swallow. After various failed attempts she finally brought herself to take photographs of her hands, of her feet, images in which she would not present herself fully.
The visit she made to her home’s attic – a space that had once been a home for other tenants and still held onto the traces of this past life – marked a turning point in this process. The attic still had furniture, a television, some household objects and a worn-out wallpaper, and this half-emptiness resonated deeply with Amouzou. She felt she had found a space which reflected her life story:
“As a space the attic, for its part, had emerged as a place that surpassed my expectations and my needs. When I discovered the attic, I allowed myself to dream a little. It was an abandoned place full of stories filled with all kinds of furniture and even clothes. I cleaned them and they suited me well. In this isolated space, I finally had the opportunity to escape a little and to get back in touch with myself. I spent many hours in this attic, whatever the season. I didn’t photograph myself every day, but I went there every time I felt the need. For a while, the attic was my secret place.”
- Hélène Amouzou (Reflections on the Self: Interview with the Artist Hélène Amouzou, Autograph)
Amouzou thus began photographing herself in the attic with a 35 mm canon camera -and later a Rolleicord - as her lone witness. Not long after, however, she realized that extended exposure times and low-sensitivity films would allow her to move and portray herself without being recognized. Amouzou’s figure appears in motion, traveling through the frame as a fleeting figure.
She initially experimented with color film, but quickly returned to black and white. Amouzou believed that the hues and textures presented in monochrome might convey the raw and introspective nature of her photographs, whereas color would merely accentuate the dissonance between her outer and inner worlds. She could also develop and print black and white film by hand, tweaking and finetuning the visuals according to her preferences and the feelings she wanted to convey in each of her prints.
For Amouzou, the attic came to represent a space in which she could let go, where she could confront her reality while also question it.
As the series developed throughout the years, she began adding or subtracting elements within her photographs. One of such examples was the flower print dress, which can be seen in many of her images hanging delicately on the wall, resting on a chair or gracing her form. With its vibrant motives and designs, this piece of clothing, brought back memories of her past and her native Togo. In its portrayal, she sought to connect and reflect on what she had lost. The suitcase also features prominently in her photographs, serving as memento of her voyage and the emotional weight that came with it.
Amouzou manages to cut right through with every picture, connecting her audience with the rage, frustration and anguish experienced without resorting to pity. Her gaze silently challenge us to acknowledge the effect that losing one’s personhood has on those who are forced to migrate – a loss that leaves all in a state of uncertainty, between life and death, unable to find a space to call home and fully inhabit. The title she later gave this series in her 2009 photobook, Entre le papier peint et le mur [Between Wallpaper and Wall], poignantly consigns this feeling.
Amouzou has left the attic. Photography, however, remains her main source of inspiration, through which she continues to reflect on her experience of exile. In the series Togo (2011), Amouzou delves deeper into her connections- and simultaneous detachment - to her home country, which she now views at a distance. Photography has also played a significant role in rekindling her emotional ties with her family. After twenty years apart she has reunited with her family in Togo and the sharing of old photographs - as well as the making of new portraits together – helps her weave new emotions and mend the time lost.
Amouzou’s photographs have been selected for exhibitions in Wereldmuseum such as Things that Matter (2018-present) and In Schitterend Licht (December – October 2024). Her work touches upon a broader migratory movement that affects the lives of nearly 110 million people, 50% of them women, who forcibly relocate within and outside of their home countries Both shows, each with their own flavor, explore how this global story is influencing the social dynamics of the twenty-first century and with it, transforming the way many in the world conceive ‘home’.
Amouzou’s photographs will be on public display in In Schitterend Licht until the 31st of October 2024.
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Autograph (2023). Hélène Amouzou: Voyages. Autograph: https://autograph.org.uk/exhibitions/helene-amouzou-voyages
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